Dear Senator:

Hi, its me, Skip Templeton. We did some business a while back and lately I have been working with your staff on completing the money transfer that is owed to me. So far I have done everything that has been asked of me by your staff: I sent ID, I sent a bank account number, I even contacted a local charity - Children of the Corn - to donate half of the money per your desire (I bet they didn't even tell you about this).

I am writing to complain and to warn you that you have a church rat on your staff and her name is Jane Thomas! I have discovered that she is trying to turn the Board against you so that she can get all of your money. She is a frogwoman and now that I have figured her out she is trying to screw me out of my share of the money. She is mean, impatient, and stupid! She couldn't spell her way out of a cardboard box. She couldn't even spell "box"! You need to get rid of her and whoever is helping her - you may want to look into a guy named Sam Efe - he supposedly is the director of the Board.

Please let me know if I can help you weed out these church rat frogs. But we also need to move forward with the money transfer, so maybe we should work directly with one another from now on. What do you say?

God bless,
Skip