Dear Mrs. Jane,
I'm glad that you have finally found it in your heart and brain to place some trust in me (I hope you don't mind, but I changed the subject line to read, "Real Business", since that is what we are all about now, and I was getting tired of the "Re: re: re: re:..." if you catch my drift). I must reiterate that I may be in real DANGER because of this frogboy malachai. I am beginning to question the veracity of his charity!
I know that you have protocal and I respect that. And I am glad that you have stopped playing and making fun of me. I am pretty sure now that you are serious. But before I give you the contents of my rolodex, I must insist that you check with the Senator and your attorneys about giving me an advance on my payment in order to cover the costs of the fees. If that doesn't work, the Senator might be willing to front the money since he is also a very rich man and owes me from our previous business. Feel free to have your attorney contact me.
Regards,
Skip
Dear Skip
Please let be realistic this time around.Do you think this is a kind of joke or we do not have protocol.Can you send money to any body you do know his or her address?can you send money to an account that is without address and all coresponding datas?can you send money to cildren of the corn you do not have their address/that wil be fullish of any body.All these are required if we must do any thing.Besides you are aware that the senator does not resides in Nigeria. He has only nominated you to receive this money from his cahrity organisation. I am not familiar with what you two have done together for you to merit it.There was not provision made for processing of the funds.All beneficiaries this year are supposed to handle their processing themselves.As for you case I have told you that money will be required to pay the attorney who will do the change of ownership and aevery legal processing at the Bank and the law courts here. Thsi is before the funds are approved in you name. Before this time we neeed cash to handle the processing.You must pay these charges. There is no where money can be removed until the funds are processed in your name.This is the situation and that is what others are doing. I have invited you pertsonally if you doubt the veracity of my claims.
My Regards
Mrs Jane
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Dear Mrs. Jane,
There is just no way that I can forget about you. You have become part of my life - a very important part of my life.
But please, Mrs. Jane, you must help me. I do not cut corners, especially in the service of humanity and God. And just where are you getting this that I am Cortez, the Senator, and Children of the Corn? I suppose that you think I am Mr. Tundy as well?! This is crazy talk. Oh, you figured me out - In my free time I disguise myself as a lawyer and help my wife divorce me and take half of my stuff (maybe I am also my wife). And if there is still time left in the day, I establish a nonprofit children's charity. And lets not forget how I have managed to become a great Senator and contact myself for help and hire you as well??!! All of this with only a high school diploma and one arm? Do you now see how ridiculous you sound? I hope this puts to rest any doubts you have.
So please, can you just send me part of the money so I can get this Malachai kid off of my back? I was thinking that you could just take whatever fees there are out of the $450,000,000 that is coming my way - clearly I have more than enough to cover it. Please help. I am becoming a charity in myself because of the mess that YOU got me into.
Contact the Senator if you must. Anything to help get me the money to give to Children of the Corn.
Submissively yours,
Skip
Dear Skip.
I have already forwarded your your correspondance between you and i to the Senator.I am a hristain so i do not hold any grudges. I only see you as trying to cut corners.In the work of humanity and God you do not cut corners and get away with it.I put it to you today that you are the same and one with the lawyer and the children home. i do no know whayuou want to get at.if I must work with you. You must meet the requirement expecially on issues of account and personal address. again you must be ready to pay the prescribe fees. Otherwise forget about me.I accept whatever you say I am.
Regards
Mrs jane
There is just no way that I can forget about you. You have become part of my life - a very important part of my life.
But please, Mrs. Jane, you must help me. I do not cut corners, especially in the service of humanity and God. And just where are you getting this that I am Cortez, the Senator, and Children of the Corn? I suppose that you think I am Mr. Tundy as well?! This is crazy talk. Oh, you figured me out - In my free time I disguise myself as a lawyer and help my wife divorce me and take half of my stuff (maybe I am also my wife). And if there is still time left in the day, I establish a nonprofit children's charity. And lets not forget how I have managed to become a great Senator and contact myself for help and hire you as well??!! All of this with only a high school diploma and one arm? Do you now see how ridiculous you sound? I hope this puts to rest any doubts you have.
So please, can you just send me part of the money so I can get this Malachai kid off of my back? I was thinking that you could just take whatever fees there are out of the $450,000,000 that is coming my way - clearly I have more than enough to cover it. Please help. I am becoming a charity in myself because of the mess that YOU got me into.
Contact the Senator if you must. Anything to help get me the money to give to Children of the Corn.
Submissively yours,
Skip
Dear Skip.
I have already forwarded your your correspondance between you and i to the Senator.I am a hristain so i do not hold any grudges. I only see you as trying to cut corners.In the work of humanity and God you do not cut corners and get away with it.I put it to you today that you are the same and one with the lawyer and the children home. i do no know whayuou want to get at.if I must work with you. You must meet the requirement expecially on issues of account and personal address. again you must be ready to pay the prescribe fees. Otherwise forget about me.I accept whatever you say I am.
Regards
Mrs jane
Monday, January 29, 2007
Dear Mrs. Jane,
Please, you must help me. That maniac Malachai from Children of the Corn wants to hurt me I think. He keeps calling me saying that he wants the money that I promised him. He says that I am just like the other grown ups and he will treat me that way. Please, you must complete your business with me so I can get rid of this loon.
I'm sorry for all of the bad things I said to you. I'm sorry I called you a frogwoman and a church rat. And I'm sorry that I accused you of trying to stage a hostile takeover of the Board (and I'm sorry for telling the senator of your plan).
Please, I beg you.
Skip
Please, you must help me. That maniac Malachai from Children of the Corn wants to hurt me I think. He keeps calling me saying that he wants the money that I promised him. He says that I am just like the other grown ups and he will treat me that way. Please, you must complete your business with me so I can get rid of this loon.
I'm sorry for all of the bad things I said to you. I'm sorry I called you a frogwoman and a church rat. And I'm sorry that I accused you of trying to stage a hostile takeover of the Board (and I'm sorry for telling the senator of your plan).
Please, I beg you.
Skip
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Dear Senator:
Hi, its me, Skip Templeton. We did some business a while back and lately I have been working with your staff on completing the money transfer that is owed to me. So far I have done everything that has been asked of me by your staff: I sent ID, I sent a bank account number, I even contacted a local charity - Children of the Corn - to donate half of the money per your desire (I bet they didn't even tell you about this).
I am writing to complain and to warn you that you have a church rat on your staff and her name is Jane Thomas! I have discovered that she is trying to turn the Board against you so that she can get all of your money. She is a frogwoman and now that I have figured her out she is trying to screw me out of my share of the money. She is mean, impatient, and stupid! She couldn't spell her way out of a cardboard box. She couldn't even spell "box"! You need to get rid of her and whoever is helping her - you may want to look into a guy named Sam Efe - he supposedly is the director of the Board.
Please let me know if I can help you weed out these church rat frogs. But we also need to move forward with the money transfer, so maybe we should work directly with one another from now on. What do you say?
God bless,
Skip
Hi, its me, Skip Templeton. We did some business a while back and lately I have been working with your staff on completing the money transfer that is owed to me. So far I have done everything that has been asked of me by your staff: I sent ID, I sent a bank account number, I even contacted a local charity - Children of the Corn - to donate half of the money per your desire (I bet they didn't even tell you about this).
I am writing to complain and to warn you that you have a church rat on your staff and her name is Jane Thomas! I have discovered that she is trying to turn the Board against you so that she can get all of your money. She is a frogwoman and now that I have figured her out she is trying to screw me out of my share of the money. She is mean, impatient, and stupid! She couldn't spell her way out of a cardboard box. She couldn't even spell "box"! You need to get rid of her and whoever is helping her - you may want to look into a guy named Sam Efe - he supposedly is the director of the Board.
Please let me know if I can help you weed out these church rat frogs. But we also need to move forward with the money transfer, so maybe we should work directly with one another from now on. What do you say?
God bless,
Skip
Dear Mrs. Jane,
How can you say that I am not serious about this after all of the work I have been doing? If what you say is true, you have been wasting my time! I was contacted by the Senator, you frogwoman, and he said that he was in South America. But I know from my schooling that Nigeria is in Asia - so explain that, jerkwad!
You make it sound like I live in a world of make believe!! :( Try telling Calvin Dozie he does not exist and see what happens! He talked to your director Sam Efe and said that Efe did not know what he was talking about.
You are a frogwoman! I smell a church rat and it is you! I think you are trying to steal the Senator's money and I will tell him and you will be sorry. I am smart and figured it out: you and some other rogue members on the board are trying to stage a coup to take over from the older, more sensible leadership that remains loyal to the Senator. Once you seize power of the board, you and your stupid-shoe cronies will try to discredit the Senator and have him deposed. I am going to warn him.
You are a really bad speller, too. I think you have rice where your brain should be.
From,
John "Skip" Templeton
ps. Only my mom calls me "John", so get with the program and call me
"Skip".
dear Sir,
Now I know for sure that you are not serious about this transaction.Everything you say I can do but did your so called attorney- make up one- not tell you that we cannit send out western union from Nigeria?i talked about paying the attorney whi si ghoing do all legal works. You did not respond.It will be better if you do not waste my time anymore.
By the way you now have tow names. John and what.
Regards
Jane
How can you say that I am not serious about this after all of the work I have been doing? If what you say is true, you have been wasting my time! I was contacted by the Senator, you frogwoman, and he said that he was in South America. But I know from my schooling that Nigeria is in Asia - so explain that, jerkwad!
You make it sound like I live in a world of make believe!! :( Try telling Calvin Dozie he does not exist and see what happens! He talked to your director Sam Efe and said that Efe did not know what he was talking about.
You are a frogwoman! I smell a church rat and it is you! I think you are trying to steal the Senator's money and I will tell him and you will be sorry. I am smart and figured it out: you and some other rogue members on the board are trying to stage a coup to take over from the older, more sensible leadership that remains loyal to the Senator. Once you seize power of the board, you and your stupid-shoe cronies will try to discredit the Senator and have him deposed. I am going to warn him.
You are a really bad speller, too. I think you have rice where your brain should be.
From,
John "Skip" Templeton
ps. Only my mom calls me "John", so get with the program and call me
"Skip".
dear Sir,
Now I know for sure that you are not serious about this transaction.Everything you say I can do but did your so called attorney- make up one- not tell you that we cannit send out western union from Nigeria?i talked about paying the attorney whi si ghoing do all legal works. You did not respond.It will be better if you do not waste my time anymore.
By the way you now have tow names. John and what.
Regards
Jane
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Dear Mrs. Thomas,
Thank you for you response. The board is lucky to have someone like you to do the work that they state. I used to have the same problem as you with not being patient and I think I can help you, or rather, I can help you help yourself! So here is a trick that my shrink taught me: whenever you start to lose your patience -like if you are waiting for something, like a bus (I take the bus everywhere!) - start to do everything in slow motion. Even though you will be moving in "slomo", the rest of the world will still be moving in real time - so when the bus finally does come, it doesn't seem like you were waiting as long (this can even be fun sometimes, especially when you are with a friend - try talking with them in "slomo". Trust me, it is hilarious).
Anyhow, I am one step ahead of you. Yesterday I met with my good friend and lawyer, Calvin Dozie, and he told me that instead of giving you my bank account info (he said that will only slow things down - and not in the good "slomo" way!), that your office should just send me a check - free and clear. However, he said that there is a legal document, called a Writ of Condition, that you can send with the check which will make it so I can't get any money until half of the money is donated to Children of the Corn. We can arrange it so that you wire the money through Western Union. All you need is a code and a test question.
Dozie says that this is also better because he thinks that the stupid dorkhead Cortez might be spying on my emails - so I should keep my new bank account info secret. Dozie also said that you should email me the documents and he will help me fill them out. He is going to call your director today.
I can't believe this is finally happening!
God bless,
John*
*editor's note: John signed his REAL name...ooops.
Dear Skip,
I must confess that I am not a very patient person. I do my work as stated by the board.
1. We need the full name and address of your bank, the account #, savings and checking number or routing # if availbale or how do you expect money to be transfer to a chemical Bank in No where.
2. we need your mailing address.There are documents to be processed with these informations and you will have to pay for the services of a lawyer who will do the processing on your behalf. Otherwise you will have to be here in person to sign for the release of the funds to you.This is our standard procedures.We also insist that you call our director. The number you have it since you have refused to furnish us with a telephone number to reach you.
Regards
Mrs Jane
Thank you for you response. The board is lucky to have someone like you to do the work that they state. I used to have the same problem as you with not being patient and I think I can help you, or rather, I can help you help yourself! So here is a trick that my shrink taught me: whenever you start to lose your patience -like if you are waiting for something, like a bus (I take the bus everywhere!) - start to do everything in slow motion. Even though you will be moving in "slomo", the rest of the world will still be moving in real time - so when the bus finally does come, it doesn't seem like you were waiting as long (this can even be fun sometimes, especially when you are with a friend - try talking with them in "slomo". Trust me, it is hilarious).
Anyhow, I am one step ahead of you. Yesterday I met with my good friend and lawyer, Calvin Dozie, and he told me that instead of giving you my bank account info (he said that will only slow things down - and not in the good "slomo" way!), that your office should just send me a check - free and clear. However, he said that there is a legal document, called a Writ of Condition, that you can send with the check which will make it so I can't get any money until half of the money is donated to Children of the Corn. We can arrange it so that you wire the money through Western Union. All you need is a code and a test question.
Dozie says that this is also better because he thinks that the stupid dorkhead Cortez might be spying on my emails - so I should keep my new bank account info secret. Dozie also said that you should email me the documents and he will help me fill them out. He is going to call your director today.
I can't believe this is finally happening!
God bless,
John*
*editor's note: John signed his REAL name...ooops.
Dear Skip,
I must confess that I am not a very patient person. I do my work as stated by the board.
1. We need the full name and address of your bank, the account #, savings and checking number or routing # if availbale or how do you expect money to be transfer to a chemical Bank in No where.
2. we need your mailing address.There are documents to be processed with these informations and you will have to pay for the services of a lawyer who will do the processing on your behalf. Otherwise you will have to be here in person to sign for the release of the funds to you.This is our standard procedures.We also insist that you call our director. The number you have it since you have refused to furnish us with a telephone number to reach you.
Regards
Mrs Jane
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Dear Mrs. Jane,
Why are you so angry at me? I was happy that you were not so nice to that stupid jerkstore lawyer Cortez, but I was sad when I saw that you seem just as mad at me. Please do not turn into a frogwoman. I have been working my tail off trying to make this work. I can only do so much, you know. I have a full-time job, a cat, and have to deal with constant harrassment from that trufflesniffer Cortez.
Please Mrs. Jane. the only game I play is Settlers of Cataan (loads of fun once you get the hang of it). Remember, your boss, the Senator contacted me! He knew me from my earlier work with Julieth Williams and Calvin Dozie. I hope that you are not the one playing games with me. You better not be one of Cortez's 'stupid troopers' that mess with me.
Anyways, now that that is settled, I went to the Chemical Bank yesterday and opened up an account (yeah, I thought that would get your attention, or did you forget that we are actually doing business here?!). Here is the info: I have a savings account, a checking account (they talked me into this), an atm card that I can use almost anywhere. My account number is 02948203098. I only have $20 in it so far, because that is the minimum needed to open up an account with them.
Ok, so now you have my library card, bank account info, and charity info. I think that is everything that you asked for. So what is next?
God bless,
Skip
Dear Sir,
I sent you a copy of my reply to The lawyer.It seems someone is over assuming or playiong games. But in order to be above board here I decide to open up to both parties. It si not our duty how you share your funds with your wife. Or are the one writing both mail. I wonder how the lawyer got my email address. I have asked him to call my director. I also by this precit ask you to call My director as well.
We shall continue to deal with you but immediately we notice unseriouness from your part we shall stop. Uptill now you have not sent any mailing address and bank detail. We do not work like this.I strongly think someone is playing Gmaes. until you make a personal call I will consider this relationship not serious enough to warrant our attention. I have made this complain to my Director. Mr Sam Efe.
REgards
Mrs Jane Thomas
Why are you so angry at me? I was happy that you were not so nice to that stupid jerkstore lawyer Cortez, but I was sad when I saw that you seem just as mad at me. Please do not turn into a frogwoman. I have been working my tail off trying to make this work. I can only do so much, you know. I have a full-time job, a cat, and have to deal with constant harrassment from that trufflesniffer Cortez.
Please Mrs. Jane. the only game I play is Settlers of Cataan (loads of fun once you get the hang of it). Remember, your boss, the Senator contacted me! He knew me from my earlier work with Julieth Williams and Calvin Dozie. I hope that you are not the one playing games with me. You better not be one of Cortez's 'stupid troopers' that mess with me.
Anyways, now that that is settled, I went to the Chemical Bank yesterday and opened up an account (yeah, I thought that would get your attention, or did you forget that we are actually doing business here?!). Here is the info: I have a savings account, a checking account (they talked me into this), an atm card that I can use almost anywhere. My account number is 02948203098. I only have $20 in it so far, because that is the minimum needed to open up an account with them.
Ok, so now you have my library card, bank account info, and charity info. I think that is everything that you asked for. So what is next?
God bless,
Skip
Dear Sir,
I sent you a copy of my reply to The lawyer.It seems someone is over assuming or playiong games. But in order to be above board here I decide to open up to both parties. It si not our duty how you share your funds with your wife. Or are the one writing both mail. I wonder how the lawyer got my email address. I have asked him to call my director. I also by this precit ask you to call My director as well.
We shall continue to deal with you but immediately we notice unseriouness from your part we shall stop. Uptill now you have not sent any mailing address and bank detail. We do not work like this.I strongly think someone is playing Gmaes. until you make a personal call I will consider this relationship not serious enough to warrant our attention. I have made this complain to my Director. Mr Sam Efe.
REgards
Mrs Jane Thomas
Dear Ms. Jane,
Holy smokes!!!! How did that frogman Cortez find out about you?! And why were you so nice to him in your email?!!! He is a mean frogman money-sniffer. Please do not be nice to him and do not tell him how much money we are dealing with. He will just try and confuse you with his fancy legal mumbo jumbo jargon, quid pro quo, ispso facto, amicus curie blah blah blah.
My lunchbreak is in two hours. Should I still go to the bank? Yes, I should. I will. Hopefully Cortez will not have one of his frogmen follow me. I promise I will be careful and you promise that we are still doing this - I need this money and I want to help the poor children in my area.
Godspeed,
Skip
Holy smokes!!!! How did that frogman Cortez find out about you?! And why were you so nice to him in your email?!!! He is a mean frogman money-sniffer. Please do not be nice to him and do not tell him how much money we are dealing with. He will just try and confuse you with his fancy legal mumbo jumbo jargon, quid pro quo, ispso facto, amicus curie blah blah blah.
My lunchbreak is in two hours. Should I still go to the bank? Yes, I should. I will. Hopefully Cortez will not have one of his frogmen follow me. I promise I will be careful and you promise that we are still doing this - I need this money and I want to help the poor children in my area.
Godspeed,
Skip
Dear skip.
Below is a message we got from the attorney representing your wife in the matter of divioce and our response therein. It seems something is wrong somewhere which we are noit ready to be involved in. Please cleare all grey areas and get back to this office for continuity of transaction.
Regards
Mrs Jane
for the Board.
Dear Downey,
Glad to receive your mail.
Please be informed that we are not a party to the court between Mr Skip Templeon and his wife. We do not intend to join issues on this matter as transaction between this office and the siad Mr Skip is purely foir humanitarian purpoise.
We shall therefore forward a copy of your mail to Mr Skip so that he can take whatever action he deems fit on it.
My regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
Below is a message we got from the attorney representing your wife in the matter of divioce and our response therein. It seems something is wrong somewhere which we are noit ready to be involved in. Please cleare all grey areas and get back to this office for continuity of transaction.
Regards
Mrs Jane
for the Board.
Dear Downey,
Glad to receive your mail.
Please be informed that we are not a party to the court between Mr Skip Templeon and his wife. We do not intend to join issues on this matter as transaction between this office and the siad Mr Skip is purely foir humanitarian purpoise.
We shall therefore forward a copy of your mail to Mr Skip so that he can take whatever action he deems fit on it.
My regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Downey Cortez
Dear Mrs. Thomas:
Greetings. My name is Downey Cortez, Jr. and I am the attorney representing Mrs. Flo Templeton in the matter of her dissolution of marriage from Mr. Skip Templeton (Templeton v. Templeton, Oshkosh County Case No. 5462316).
I am writing because I have recently discovered, through the discovery process, that the office you work for is planning on doing some business with Mr. Templeton that will involve a sizeable financial transaction. Please be advised that my client is entitled to half of all monies of said transaction. The law demands it. I expect complete cooperation from you and your office in this matter.
Good day.
Very truly yours,
Downey Cortez, Jr., Esq.
Attorney at Law
Greetings. My name is Downey Cortez, Jr. and I am the attorney representing Mrs. Flo Templeton in the matter of her dissolution of marriage from Mr. Skip Templeton (Templeton v. Templeton, Oshkosh County Case No. 5462316).
I am writing because I have recently discovered, through the discovery process, that the office you work for is planning on doing some business with Mr. Templeton that will involve a sizeable financial transaction. Please be advised that my client is entitled to half of all monies of said transaction. The law demands it. I expect complete cooperation from you and your office in this matter.
Good day.
Very truly yours,
Downey Cortez, Jr., Esq.
Attorney at Law
Dear Mr Skip.
Please be informed that we have already received your library card. When we get to the issue of malacai I will let you know. This office shall like to open a formal correspondance with the home but this after the funds must have been processes and paid in your name.Be also informed that there si a time limit for our charity work every rear. It usually between December and January.This means that you must complete all process before the end of this month. The account detail and mailing address is what we are waiting for .Please time is of essence in this matter.
Regards
Mrs jane Thomas.
Secretary
Please be informed that we have already received your library card. When we get to the issue of malacai I will let you know. This office shall like to open a formal correspondance with the home but this after the funds must have been processes and paid in your name.Be also informed that there si a time limit for our charity work every rear. It usually between December and January.This means that you must complete all process before the end of this month. The account detail and mailing address is what we are waiting for .Please time is of essence in this matter.
Regards
Mrs jane Thomas.
Secretary
Monday, January 22, 2007
Dear Mrs. Jane,
Thank you again for your advicing me on my marital problems. You are right about the separate accounts. Its not so much her as it is her frogman lawyer. He is greedy and just wants more money. I think he turned her against me. She might even be sleeping with him. I have to make sure that he does not find out about my new bank account because he is like a truffle-sniffing hog when it comes to money, he is a hogman money-sniffer if you know what I mean.
Anyways, I was supposed to go to the bank today but I had to take Mr. Tundy to the vet (he got crazy glue on his paw and was stuck to the coffee table!!!). The vet was able to help him, but poor Mr. Tundy has a hurt paw now because the glue was so strong that it took off some of his fur and kitty-skin :(
I will go to the bank tomorrow during my lunch break.
I want you and the Senator to know that I am serious about charity work. I think I told you about Children of the Corn and all they do. Let me know if you want me to have Malachai (he is the leader of Children of the Corn) contact you to verify that I am going to donate half of the money to him.
So I guess this means that you will accept my library card?
Thank you and God bless,
skip
Thank you again for your advicing me on my marital problems. You are right about the separate accounts. Its not so much her as it is her frogman lawyer. He is greedy and just wants more money. I think he turned her against me. She might even be sleeping with him. I have to make sure that he does not find out about my new bank account because he is like a truffle-sniffing hog when it comes to money, he is a hogman money-sniffer if you know what I mean.
Anyways, I was supposed to go to the bank today but I had to take Mr. Tundy to the vet (he got crazy glue on his paw and was stuck to the coffee table!!!). The vet was able to help him, but poor Mr. Tundy has a hurt paw now because the glue was so strong that it took off some of his fur and kitty-skin :(
I will go to the bank tomorrow during my lunch break.
I want you and the Senator to know that I am serious about charity work. I think I told you about Children of the Corn and all they do. Let me know if you want me to have Malachai (he is the leader of Children of the Corn) contact you to verify that I am going to donate half of the money to him.
So I guess this means that you will accept my library card?
Thank you and God bless,
skip
Re: Re: Re: RE: Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed Sent Me
Dear Sir,
Thanks for your mail and your intention to settle with your wife. But I advice that you still get a seperate account. we shall only accept the library card on the condition that you believe in charitry works. We shall wait for you to submit the address and account details.
My Regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
secretary
Thanks for your mail and your intention to settle with your wife. But I advice that you still get a seperate account. we shall only accept the library card on the condition that you believe in charitry works. We shall wait for you to submit the address and account details.
My Regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
secretary
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Dear Mrs. Jane,
Thank you for your reply and kind advice. I guess that I had never thought of it that way before. Maybe you are right and I should try to work things out? It is just that she can just be so cruel and she doesn't believe in my big dream. Do you understand? And she seems to resent my cat (and bestest friend) Mr. Tundy. She says that she is allergic, but I think it is
just her bad attitude. I'll think about it, but I still will not tell her about this business, just in case (she would never give money to help the poor). She also sleeps around. Alot. Heck, she has probably already done Senator Mohammed! Sorry, bad joke :(
Anyway, I scanned my library card and am attaching it to this email. I realized however that it does not have my name or picture on it, is that a problem? On Monday I will see about getting a PO Box. I will also go to the bank and see about getting another account - should I set up one of those "off-shore" accounts?
Malachai from Children of the Corn also called me back again yesterday afternoon. They are eager to receive our donation, but they also want to know all of our ages (seems kind of strange to me - but he seems like a weird kid anyway. Great charity, weirdo kid liaison if you ask me).
Thank you and God Bless,
Skip
Thank you for your reply and kind advice. I guess that I had never thought of it that way before. Maybe you are right and I should try to work things out? It is just that she can just be so cruel and she doesn't believe in my big dream. Do you understand? And she seems to resent my cat (and bestest friend) Mr. Tundy. She says that she is allergic, but I think it is
just her bad attitude. I'll think about it, but I still will not tell her about this business, just in case (she would never give money to help the poor). She also sleeps around. Alot. Heck, she has probably already done Senator Mohammed! Sorry, bad joke :(
Anyway, I scanned my library card and am attaching it to this email. I realized however that it does not have my name or picture on it, is that a problem? On Monday I will see about getting a PO Box. I will also go to the bank and see about getting another account - should I set up one of those "off-shore" accounts?
Malachai from Children of the Corn also called me back again yesterday afternoon. They are eager to receive our donation, but they also want to know all of our ages (seems kind of strange to me - but he seems like a weird kid anyway. Great charity, weirdo kid liaison if you ask me).
Thank you and God Bless,
Skip
Dear Sir,
Your mail is hereby acknowledged. I am delighted that you sound good spirited inspite of the difficulty with your wife.
But dont you think it is better to settle with your than to go into divioce. Anyway, P.O Box is okay for your address.
On the issue of identity, a card from your library will do.I am happy that you have identified already areas you will use the
money to help. That is very gratifying. And I hope you will keep to it.
Please you have to open an account and forward it to us. As par telephone since you have not brought yours. It then means that you will be one to be calling. The number again is +234 80 25614310 or +234 2 750 6275. Any of them you can get Mr Efe Sam. I will let the Senator knows about your seriouness.We look forward to receiving all information from so that we can begin work early.
My Regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
Your mail is hereby acknowledged. I am delighted that you sound good spirited inspite of the difficulty with your wife.
But dont you think it is better to settle with your than to go into divioce. Anyway, P.O Box is okay for your address.
On the issue of identity, a card from your library will do.I am happy that you have identified already areas you will use the
money to help. That is very gratifying. And I hope you will keep to it.
Please you have to open an account and forward it to us. As par telephone since you have not brought yours. It then means that you will be one to be calling. The number again is +234 80 25614310 or +234 2 750 6275. Any of them you can get Mr Efe Sam. I will let the Senator knows about your seriouness.We look forward to receiving all information from so that we can begin work early.
My Regards
Mrs Jane Thomas
RE: Re: Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed Sent Me
Dear Mrs. Jane,
I am sending this email to both of your email accounts to make sure that you get it. Thank you so much for your speedy response. I have looked over your message carefully and have begun working on gathering the information you need, but I have a few questions:
1. I am in the middle of a nasty divorce right now, and am not sure if I should give you my home address and telephone number because if my stupid wife hears or sees anything she will get suspicious. I don't want her jerkstore lawyer to make me give her half of the loot (that is for the charity!). So should I use a P.O. Box instead? And maybe I should get one of those mobile phones?
2. Because of the divorce, I think I will open up a new bank account for this deal (my wife's frogman lawyer already has access to my bank statements and get this, he is asking for half of my baseball card collection! That includes 4 Will Clark rookie cards!). So this may take a few days.
3. I don't have a passport (never left the country!) nor do I have a drivers license (I take the bus!). Does the ID need to have my photo on it? Or can I use my library card (why buy books when you can borrow them, right?) or gym membership card (the guy at the counter will vouch for me - I go there every day).
4. I already found a good charity in my area. It is called "Children of the Corn" and helps poor children of rural families who have been hurt by the provisions of the Agricultural Adjustment Act and the Boll Weevil. I called them and talked to someone named Malachai. I didn't tell him how much money I would donate (that will be a surprise!) but he said they welcome all the help they can. Please make sure that you tell the Senator about this. I want him to know that I am serious about sharing my wealth and spreading joy to the poor children.
5. I tried calling Mr. Efe Sam at the number you gave but it didn't work. I just got three short beeps, then two long beeps, and then a static noise. I was calling from a payphone so maybe I'll try again from a different payphone.
Thank you and please answer my questions so we can complete the transfer as soon as possible. I am very excited about this!
God bless,
Skip Templeton
I am sending this email to both of your email accounts to make sure that you get it. Thank you so much for your speedy response. I have looked over your message carefully and have begun working on gathering the information you need, but I have a few questions:
1. I am in the middle of a nasty divorce right now, and am not sure if I should give you my home address and telephone number because if my stupid wife hears or sees anything she will get suspicious. I don't want her jerkstore lawyer to make me give her half of the loot (that is for the charity!). So should I use a P.O. Box instead? And maybe I should get one of those mobile phones?
2. Because of the divorce, I think I will open up a new bank account for this deal (my wife's frogman lawyer already has access to my bank statements and get this, he is asking for half of my baseball card collection! That includes 4 Will Clark rookie cards!). So this may take a few days.
3. I don't have a passport (never left the country!) nor do I have a drivers license (I take the bus!). Does the ID need to have my photo on it? Or can I use my library card (why buy books when you can borrow them, right?) or gym membership card (the guy at the counter will vouch for me - I go there every day).
4. I already found a good charity in my area. It is called "Children of the Corn" and helps poor children of rural families who have been hurt by the provisions of the Agricultural Adjustment Act and the Boll Weevil. I called them and talked to someone named Malachai. I didn't tell him how much money I would donate (that will be a surprise!) but he said they welcome all the help they can. Please make sure that you tell the Senator about this. I want him to know that I am serious about sharing my wealth and spreading joy to the poor children.
5. I tried calling Mr. Efe Sam at the number you gave but it didn't work. I just got three short beeps, then two long beeps, and then a static noise. I was calling from a payphone so maybe I'll try again from a different payphone.
Thank you and please answer my questions so we can complete the transfer as soon as possible. I am very excited about this!
God bless,
Skip Templeton
Friday, January 19, 2007
RE: Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed Sent Me
Dear Sir,
Your mail received and confirmation have been got from Sen Isa Mohammed.
In line with our procedure at this jucture, you are requested to provide
this office with the following mandatory informations to us enable
commence the process of transfer of the funds to you.
1. Your full names
2. Address.
3.Telephone/fax number
4. Banking detail in case you want direct wire transfer to your account.
5. Any meansof identity by you. This can be inform of passport, i.d card or driving licence
Please be informed that we shall want you to agree to the terms of the donor of this funds. That is that you must agree to use 50% of the funds for charity purposes. In this light , you are adviced to nominated either an ophanage home, motherless babies home or any other areas of your community that needs assistance and send us the information and the scope of work you proposed to do for them. This is just for the record purposes only. When we receive these information we shall comence the process of transfer of the sum of USDollars 450,000.00 to you for this purpose.
This is a dream project of our director expecially to touch the lives of the less priviledged at this yelutide period.
You are adviced to contact Our account officer who is directly incharge of the processing of your funds so that you two can communicate by phone. The name of our Account Officer is Mr Efe Sam on Telephone number 234 802561 4310.
My regards and looking forward to work with you in earnest.
You can also reach this office on Jane_thomas_o@yahoo.com
Mrs Jane Thomas.
Secretary.
Isa Mohammed Charity Foundation
Your mail received and confirmation have been got from Sen Isa Mohammed.
In line with our procedure at this jucture, you are requested to provide
this office with the following mandatory informations to us enable
commence the process of transfer of the funds to you.
1. Your full names
2. Address.
3.Telephone/fax number
4. Banking detail in case you want direct wire transfer to your account.
5. Any meansof identity by you. This can be inform of passport, i.d card or driving licence
Please be informed that we shall want you to agree to the terms of the donor of this funds. That is that you must agree to use 50% of the funds for charity purposes. In this light , you are adviced to nominated either an ophanage home, motherless babies home or any other areas of your community that needs assistance and send us the information and the scope of work you proposed to do for them. This is just for the record purposes only. When we receive these information we shall comence the process of transfer of the sum of USDollars 450,000.00 to you for this purpose.
This is a dream project of our director expecially to touch the lives of the less priviledged at this yelutide period.
You are adviced to contact Our account officer who is directly incharge of the processing of your funds so that you two can communicate by phone. The name of our Account Officer is Mr Efe Sam on Telephone number 234 802561 4310.
My regards and looking forward to work with you in earnest.
You can also reach this office on Jane_thomas_o@yahoo.com
Mrs Jane Thomas.
Secretary.
Isa Mohammed Charity Foundation
Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed Sent Me
Dear Ms. Jane,
My name is Skip Templeton and I got an email from your boss, Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed. He says that I am supposed to ask you to send me $450.000.000 (if you do not believe me, look at the email below). He knows me from some previous work (Is he referring to my work with Ms. Anita Williams?). I plan to use at least half of the money to help poor people in my
area (please tell the Senator this!).
I look forward to (finally!) receiving compensation for my work. Please send the money without delay!
Sincerely,
Skip Templeton
My name is Skip Templeton and I got an email from your boss, Senator Mahmoud Isa Mohammed. He says that I am supposed to ask you to send me $450.000.000 (if you do not believe me, look at the email below). He knows me from some previous work (Is he referring to my work with Ms. Anita Williams?). I plan to use at least half of the money to help poor people in my
area (please tell the Senator this!).
I look forward to (finally!) receiving compensation for my work. Please send the money without delay!
Sincerely,
Skip Templeton
Thursday, January 18, 2007
MESSAGE FROM SEN. ISA MOHAMMED
Good day ,
I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred to a Swiss Account with the cooperation of a new
partner from paraguay who is aninternational business man.Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile,I did not forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how. Now contact my secretary,her contact is:
Name: Mrs. Jane Thomas
Email Address: jane_thomas@o2.pl
Ask her to send you the total $450.000.00 (Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand US Dollars) which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.Also do use part of themoney for philantropist purposes for use in helping the less priviledged in your area.
I appreciated your efforts at that time very mu! ch.So feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mrs. Jane Thomas and instruct her where to send the amount to you.
Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share thejoy after all the sufferness at that time. In the moment,I am very busy herebecause of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand.Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to my secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Mrs. Jane Thomas and she will send the amount to youwithout any delay.
I beg you in the name of the most high to use at least 50% of the proceed to put smile on the faces of the less priviledge.
This is my utmost wish for this donation.
With best regards.
Sen. Mahmoud Isa Mohammed
I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred to a Swiss Account with the cooperation of a new
partner from paraguay who is aninternational business man.Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile,I did not forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how. Now contact my secretary,her contact is:
Name: Mrs. Jane Thomas
Email Address: jane_thomas@o2.pl
Ask her to send you the total $450.000.00 (Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand US Dollars) which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.Also do use part of themoney for philantropist purposes for use in helping the less priviledged in your area.
I appreciated your efforts at that time very mu! ch.So feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mrs. Jane Thomas and instruct her where to send the amount to you.
Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share thejoy after all the sufferness at that time. In the moment,I am very busy herebecause of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand.Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to my secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Mrs. Jane Thomas and she will send the amount to youwithout any delay.
I beg you in the name of the most high to use at least 50% of the proceed to put smile on the faces of the less priviledge.
This is my utmost wish for this donation.
With best regards.
Sen. Mahmoud Isa Mohammed
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